


Photographs

by SpeckledAspen



Series: Aspens Haikyuu Angst Week [3]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Character Death, Haikyuu Angst Week 2020, Hurt No Comfort, I Made Myself Cry, M/M, Why Did I Write This?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-03
Updated: 2020-11-03
Packaged: 2021-03-09 02:41:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,444
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27367483
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SpeckledAspen/pseuds/SpeckledAspen
Summary: Haikyuu Angst Week Day 3 // Prompt; PhotographsSongfic; Photograph - Ed Sheeran.𝐋𝐨𝐯𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐜𝐚𝐧 𝐡𝐮𝐫𝐭, 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐜𝐚𝐧 𝐡𝐮𝐫𝐭 𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐞𝐬Kuroo vividly remembers the time when he confessed to Kenma. He can remember the stinging in his heart when Kenma rejected him, the hot tears that threatened to fall. Kuroo wasn’t a crier, at least not since Junior high but there he was, on the verge of tears.
Relationships: Kozume Kenma/Kuroo Tetsurou
Series: Aspens Haikyuu Angst Week [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1997062
Comments: 4
Kudos: 20
Collections: Haikyuu Angst Week 2020





	Photographs

𝐋𝐨𝐯𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐜𝐚𝐧 𝐡𝐮𝐫𝐭, 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐜𝐚𝐧 𝐡𝐮𝐫𝐭 𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐞𝐬

Kuroo vividly remembers the time when he confessed to Kenma. He can remember the stinging in his heart when Kenma rejected him, the hot tears that threatened to fall. Kuroo wasn’t a crier, at least not since Junior high but there he was, on the verge of tears. 

The rest of Nekoma remembered it too, just in a different sense. The first time that neither Kuroo nor Kenma had shown up to practice without any warning, though not the last. 

𝐁𝐮𝐭 𝐢𝐭'𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐨𝐧𝐥𝐲 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐈 𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰

There was almost complete radio silence between the two for the next few weeks, with only the occasional word at practice when necessary. Kuroo had tried to talk to Kenma, just a simple ‘hey’ or ‘how are you?’ but Kenma always ignored him. The tension was so thick that you could cut it with a knife.

Kuroo seemed so lost, like a different person almost. So much so that even Yaku, his notorious rival, grew concerned at the lack of reaction Kuroo gave at almost all of the remarks that would normally have him reeling. 

𝐖𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐢𝐭 𝐠𝐞𝐭𝐬 𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐝, 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐢𝐭 𝐜𝐚𝐧 𝐠𝐞𝐭 𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐝 𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐞𝐬

Those weeks were hard, some of the hardest Kuroo had known. Not only had he been rejected by his long time crush, he had lost his closest friend as well and it almost destroyed him. He barely slept, barely ate, barely spoke. A shell of a man people could have called him. Some days he felt nauseous and some days he couldn’t even motivate himself to get out of bed despite the fact that he almost never missed a class. Somedays Kuroo looked at himself in the mirror and considered maybe he was just being dramatic, that he should just get over it. Some days Kuroo considered the other /option/, one that was guaranteed to take his pain away, even if it took away everything good at the same. Though he never went through with it, it was just a thought lurking in the back of his mind.

𝐈𝐭 𝐢𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐨𝐧𝐥𝐲 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐦𝐚𝐤𝐞𝐬 𝐮𝐬 𝐟𝐞𝐞𝐥 𝐚𝐥𝐢𝐯𝐞

After almost eight weeks of nothing, approximately two whole months of /nothing/, Kuroo had truly wanted to scream. He had wanted to run to Kenma, beg for him to forget the whole thing happened just so they could talk and be friends once again, but he knew better. It wasn’t something that they could just move past, not when Kuroo knew his feelings were more than just a crush, not when Kuroo knew that them pretending it never happened would just continue to hurt them both, and while he couldn’t care what part of himself he destroyed;

/He could have never brought himself to knowingly bring pain to Kenma./

𝐖𝐞 𝐤𝐞𝐞𝐩 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐢𝐧 𝐚 𝐩𝐡𝐨𝐭𝐨𝐠𝐫𝐚𝐩𝐡

Kuroo spent most of the next few weeks just glancing around his room from his bed, missing day after day of school to avoid seeing Kenma, to avoid the heartache that comes along with seeing Kenma. He knew he that shouldn’t, after all, school was more important than his drama outside of school, not to mention he was the captain of the volleyball team, thus everytime he didn’t show up he let the team down, but he couldn’t bring himself to care. Kenma had played such a huge role in his life and then he was gone, Kuroo didn’t know what to do with himself.

It was with a loud groan that Kuroo rolled over in his bed, not realising that he was in fact, already at the edge. So with a loud thud, Kuroo lay chest down on the floor beside his bed, head facing towards the underneath of his bed. Before that point, Kuroo would have cursed the whole alphabet after falling off his bed but he had locked his eyes on a small box just in front of him.

A small memory box he made of Kenma and him from Junior high was what he had found. Kuroo, in all honesty, had forgotten about it until that moment. So he sat up and gently pulled the box out, wiping all the dust off it before he opened it to reveal numerous photos of the two as children.

𝐖𝐞 𝐦𝐚𝐝𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐬𝐞 𝐦𝐞𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐬 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐯𝐞𝐬

Each photo contained a memory, a moment Kuroo had felt so important at the time he didn’t want to forget. With each picture he flipped through, a memory came running to mind. It wasn’t until a tear dropped down onto the picture taken they had taken together after they won their first volleyball game together that he had realised he was crying. 

𝐖𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐞𝐲𝐞𝐬 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐧𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐜𝐥𝐨𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐠

Kuroo didn’t try to stop the tears from flowing at that point. Instead, he continued to flip through the images. There had been so many different ones. There was a photo from when Kenma had been up all night playing games and Kuroo found him that morning, eyes glued to the screen. Photos from old volleyball games. Photos from their Junior high graduation. Photos from birthdays. Almost any important moment, there was a photo.

𝐇𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐬 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐧𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐛𝐫𝐨𝐤𝐞𝐧

Each photo had left him wishing more and more he could go back in time. Go back and never confess, never ruin what they had. They would have both still been happy, both still been friends. They wouldn’t have been avoiding each other and they would have kept going to practice, they would have kept playing together. It was all his fault. If he hadn’t of been so selfish, they could have still been friends.

𝐀𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐞'𝐬 𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐟𝐫𝐨𝐳𝐞𝐧 𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐥𝐥

Those photos had helped Kuroo realise that nothing was worth losing Kenma /permanently/. He refused to let those happy memories be spoiled by that and he certainly refused to let Kenma use that as an excuse to destroy himself. But Kuroo also knew that he couldn’t fix this, at least not at that moment. They had both needed time to heal but that would never happen while they were both refusing to do things just for the sake of avoiding each other. So he thought would just have to lose Kenma /temporarily/.

𝐒𝐨 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐜𝐚𝐧 𝐤𝐞𝐞𝐩 𝐦𝐞 𝐢𝐧𝐬𝐢𝐝𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐩𝐨𝐜𝐤𝐞𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐫𝐢𝐩𝐩𝐞𝐝 𝐣𝐞𝐚𝐧𝐬

And so that’s how Kuroo had found himself stuffing the picture of their first win together into the pocket of his jeans before stuffing a singular suitcase full of clothes, toiletries and other necessities. Why he had written apology letters to his parents, teammates and Kenma. The reason that all his life savings had been converted to American dollars. He thought there was really only one way to fix all of this, and that was for him to disappear. Even if it meant he had to leave behind everything he knew and loved.

𝐇𝐨𝐥𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐦𝐞 𝐜𝐥𝐨𝐬𝐞𝐫 '𝐭𝐢𝐥 𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐞𝐲𝐞𝐬 𝐦𝐞𝐞𝐭

Kuroo was clutching the photo of him and Kenma together tightly as the plane took off. There was no turning back at that point. Kuroo had quickly come to the realisation that just because he had made the decision to leave didn’t mean it didn’t hurt. The photo was all he had left. It was the only thing he had brought with him that held any meaning. He had even gone so far as to change his phone number, change his email, delete his contacts and delete all social media that he had. He had told no one /where/ he was going, just that he /was/ going. His plan was truly just to disappear.

𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐰𝐨𝐧'𝐭 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐛𝐞 𝐚𝐥𝐨𝐧𝐞, 𝐰𝐚𝐢𝐭 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐦𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐞 𝐡𝐨𝐦𝐞

As the plane finally left Japanese waters Kuroo wiped a tear that had managed to escape with a bittersweet smile. Kenma had so many amazing friends and family members who would support him, he knew Kenma would be okay without him. He only hoped Kenma would wait for him to return so he could fix everything and get Kenma back, even just as a friend. After all, he promised Kenma in the letter he wrote that he would come back one day and make things right. For the both of them.

𝐖𝐚𝐢𝐭 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐦𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐞 𝐡𝐨𝐦𝐞.

“Breaking news; Due to mechanical fault, a Japanese aeroplane on route to America crashed into a small island. Authorities were able to locate and recover the remains of the plane however almost everything had been burnt when the engines exploded. The only item that could be found was a photograph of two young boys which seemed to have landed a distance away from the initial crash site. There were no survivors.”

**Author's Note:**

> This was my first attempt at a songfic so sorry if it's not really any good. As always, the prompts are on twitter along with the fic! Please go have a look at my account @speckledaspen there! Comments make my day so if you're reading this please comment!!


End file.
